*stands outside the captain's quarters, ringing doorchime*

*rocks back and forth on balls of feet, anxious*

mood: chipper

*rolls over in bed, brow furrowed and beaded with sweat*

*muscles tense, curls tight into a ball, shivering*

*wakes with a jolt, panting and gasping for breath, looking around frantically before realising it was a bad dream*

*a dream... *

*clutches Toby close, eyes shut, sleep recapturing consciousness... *

mood: restless

*sits on bed, playing with Toby, untying and retying the handkerchief from around Toby's neck*

*thinks about Henry and Lottie, how they're his kids- at least one of them his own flesh and blood, drawing reason for him to love them more*

*realises is no longer jealous of Henry, feels... obliged, rather, to take care of him, because of it*

*looks at Toby wearing the handkerchief, thinks of it as a sign of both sides of her "family"*

*thinks about Granddad, brow furrowed*

*sits back, head against the wall, gazing out viewport, Toby held tight in arms*

mood: quixotic
music: Five for Fighting - 100 Years

*sniffs*
*sits in quarters on floor, holding handkerchief*
*hugs it to chest*

*ties it 'round Toby's neck*

Okay, Toby, now you have to guard it with your life.

*hugs Toby*

mood: sad

*wanders into living area, looking for Toby*

Mama, I can't find Toby... *sniff*

Hairy smells funny.

I'm hungry. Where's Kes?

Toby says he doesn't like Hairy, either.

mood: hungry

Mama says Hairy wants to take us to Voyager. For forever.

I don't wanna go.

My head hurts whenever I go outside and it's really loud.

I don't like Hairy.

mood: sad

continued from here

*the large colourful bird prods with it's long hooked beak, nudging her shoulder*

*the prods become more persistant*

*thinks this is a game, tries to push the bird back*

*is pecked at sharply by the bird*

Ow! That hurt! *backs away, the bird following, pecks at her shoulder, catching on the fabric of her shirt and tearing a tiny hole in it*

*is pecked at again, at shoulder, at neck*

*the pecking becomes violent, getting closer to her face, pecking at her head, her hair, breaking the skin, the pain shocking, has never felt pain like this before*

Ow!!! Mama! *tries to run away, the bird close on her heels*

*the bird continues pecking*

*blood runs down face, through hair, into eyes*

Mama!! MAMA! *screams*

*the bird aims for her head continuously, at one point ripping part of her ear with the hook on it's beak*

*runs for Linnis*

MAMA!!!!!! HELP!!!!!! *screaming*

*can barely see for the blood, which falls in droplets onto the dusty ground as she runs*

*trips and falls, sprawling on the ground, the bird descending over her head*

mood: scared

Um. Mama told me I can start keeping documan- docu- a journal like this, so that I can remember the things that happened later on.

Unkajon went away. Mama says he'll only be gone two days. I kinda miss him.

She says the thing outside is a planet, and that it's different there. That's where Unkajon is.

He told me he was going camping with Mal.

What's camping?

Toby wants to say hi. Say hi, Toby. (He's kind of shy.)

There's this guy that's been talking to Mama. She says his name is Harry. I saw Unkajon talking with him and Granddad at the party. I couldn't hear them, though, cuz they went away from me. (Mister Harry looks at me funny when he's around.)

I'm hungry. Kes said she'd take me to get some lunch today.

Toby says he wants bananas. (But he never eats them, so I always end up eating them.)

mood: curious

*is surrounded by confusion*
*is pummeled by thoughts of frustration and rage, surrounding her own cold fear*
*has no idea where is, these people- they're filled with cynicism and resentment, they're nothing at all like Mama, like Granddad, like Unkajon....*

*begins to cry*
Where is Unkajon?

*looks around at the women in the room*
Who? Who are they?

*hiccups, sobbing*

*looks out viewport at the stars, calms briefly, focusing on a star*
*hiccups again*
Unkajon?

mood: scared
music: Sting - Send Your Love